How we react to someone hitting on our partner

It's not hard to imagine. You are with your partner when someone approaches and starts hitting on them, even though your partner shows no interest. What do you think your natural reaction would be ?

It seems logical to think that we might instinctively be angry and jealous. We might even feel the urge to lash out. And we may also feel heightened desire for our partner due to the competition, right? Well, what happens, believe it or not, is the complete opposite.

A study published in the Journal of S3x Research conducted by researchers from the University of Rochester in the US, and Reichman University of Herzliya in Israel, showed that even if your partner ignores their admirer, your desire for your partner diminishes.

Photo: Pexels - RDNE

Gurit Birnbaum, head of the study and professor of psychology at Reichman University, distinguishes between newly formed couples and already established couples.

According to the psychologist, when a couple is in the early stages of their relationship, the fact that other people are interested increases desire. But when the couple has been in a relationship for some time, the reaction is the complete opposite.

Photo: Pexels - Vera Arsic

When a couple is established, the elements that make the relationship work are as simple as spending time together or exchanging gifts, both of which are considered examples of positive tactics, according to the study.

Photo: Unsplash - Dennis Flinsenberg

But trying to make your partner jealous, contrary to what we believe, is counterproductive in established relationships with the injured party tending to abandon the aforementioned positive tactics.

Photo: Pexels - A. Darmel

This is because our brains move into self-protection mode. Drawing on our natural defenses, we tend to emotionally distance ourselves or withdraw our investment in the relationship, with the aim of preparing ourselves for a possible breakup, according to the study.

Photo: Pexels - RDNE

So, far from trusting in the relationship and embracing the previously established commitment, the human's knee-jerk reaction tends towards preparing for the worst, thereby minimizing any potential blow to our self-esteem.

The study concludes that flirting to make your partner jealous can be counterproductive and, instead of improving your relationship, it can end up damaging the connection you are trying to recover.

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Photo: Pexels - Kaira Burton